This morning I worked out a full 30 min on legs and butt. Doing the little that I could I pushed along as I tried to get this things back into shape. And now Im feeling the true work of those 30 min. ouch...
But today was slow, Just worked out slept a few, got ready, went to the Costco with mother inlaw, came home had a nice salad with sweet peas... mmmm yummy.. and then got ready and Juan, Andrea and I went to the rec to work out some more... I know it sounds like I worked a little much for a pregnant women but I just went to the track with Andrea and we walked 1 mile. So my hopes of getting back in shape are on their way!! Tomorrow I am doing arms and chest in the morning and then we are going to do a few laps at the rec with Andrea and Nina. YAY!! cant wait to get in the water were I feel best.. and where I dont have to have pressure on my hips!
Well dissent news is that the car is back and nothing seems wrong with it... for now. They dont want to take responsibility for any of it. But as of now its running and Juan wants to sell it NOW! So tomorrow his posting it and hopefully good bye car...
On a slightly upsetting note.. im sick of work... I dont like where im at anymore. I had a serious talk to my boss the other day and given that im pregnant he wants to move me to part time... Im sure that is illegal but whatever. Im sure my supervisor is high each time I go in to work and I am sick of working hard for them to treat me like im not worth it here. I get paid well enough, but in almost 4 years can you believe that I have gotten a 33 cent raise??? So anyway after fighting it with my boss, I ended up just feeling overwhelmed and stress. I had quit my job at jetblue for this one, and now they want to move me down?? ooo and I am senior in this department. I have worked here the longest yet somehow they want to cut my hours??? seems wrong to me but I guess the Lord provides a way to grow. So I am hoping this will be one of those times of growth. I will still be able to work full time until Makaila gets here. But after that ill work 3 nights of the week.. blah.. I am strongly upset by it. But they could care less, So ill be looking for something new now. :)
Im pretty sure im carrying a ninja because she moves soooo much. ALL the time. To the point that I got worried. I have a sister that is handicap and has epilepsy. I know the true blessing of having someone special in your family. Nina has been the glue to ours and the greatest blessing. But due to knowing that its in my family I am scared Kai will be the same.. I dont want a perfect baby. But today as I sat in my room and trying to organize Kais closet, It hit me just how scared I am. I started thinking about the possibilities that all this moving could be seizures and my mind went racing. Fear kicked in and out right sadness came creeping in. Am I ready for something like that? And the more my mind raced. The more I scared myself. I googled.. which is probably the worst thing I could do. And sat in tears as I freaked myself out more and more. Then I prayed. Its all I could do at the time. I prayed hard that baby Makaila would be normal and healthy. A happy, giggly little girl. Mid prayer I stopped. I felt... wrong. That doesnt happen often, but here I was feeling like this was all wrong. And then it hit me. Im praying for the wrong thing. I WAS ALL WRONG!! I felt awful for what I was saying. I realized that the Lord knows me... he knows my strength and what I can handle. At times I feel like I cant even handle a baby and then im reminded that I can.. I will actually be doing just that. I realized that IF Juan and I are a blessed enough family to receive a child with special needs, then it must mean its because WE can. I probably cant, and Juan probably cant... but us, WE can together. So I quickly prayed for his help in preparing for Makaila... Who ever she is... But be as prepared for HER and whatever needs she will have as my baby girl. If she is normal, special, blond or green... ill be ready.. If It so happens that I am a special chosen to have someone like Nina in my family soon or in the far future, Then ill know that I am special as well... like my mommy She is a special lady to be given someone as special as Nina. Im just grateful that our little girl is here in my tummy kicking an growing for now. Once you think of the miracle it is that she has made it thus far, you are reminded of what great blessings children are......
Yours Truly,
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